GRAND PRIX The Colonel lost a bet

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Gonzo1970

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Sep 30, 2018
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I am a Civilian and work on an Air Force Base. With what I do, seeing higher ranking officers isn't unusual. Generally, the lowest rank I deal with are butter bars.. So seeing Light Colonels and Full Colonels isn't uncommon at all. Occasionally, generals... Mostly 1-2 stars, but on rare occasions the 4 star will drop in and say hey.

Anyhow, I park my 86 Grand Prix WAY back in the parking lot.. all alone.. and I was walking out to the car after work today, and there are two uniformed guys checking out the car. So, I walk a little faster to give them the full look-see... open it up, etc.. I really don't mind, half of owning a classic is showing it to people interested in it.

So, I get within talking distance, and say "Gentlemen, how are ya!" and they both turn.

A Full Colonel and a Brigadier General (One Star)

Now, I have great respect for military, but I don't "walk on eggshells" around them.. I talk to them like they're real people, but I do refer to them by their Rank or Sir. Its just respect to me, but we all put our pants on one leg at a time..

So, I see the Ranks, and say "Oh! Hello Brigadier General, Hello Colonel" and they offered to shake hands, so I did.. The General spoke up and the conversation went something like this:

General: "I haven't seen one of these in years! It is in Fantastic shape! I had one of these back before Desert Storm, and left it in the states when I went over. Never saw it again.. Goddamn Ex Wife.."
I said "Thank you, Sir. Sorry to hear that." and gave them the run down... took forever to find it, finally found this in the proverbial Grandma's Garage in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio.. all options but T-Tops.. have all documentation, window sticker, build sheet, second owner, etc..
General: "Well, the Colonel here owes me a beer. He said it was a Monte Carlo!" and laughed.
Colonel: "Yeah, well, I was at a distance, didn't get very close to it"
General: "Hell, Colonel.. I knew it was a Grand Prix from my office" (Building about 300 yards away, top floor, of course)

So, I opened it up.. showed em under the hood, trunk, inside, etc.. (There really is no rust on this car, its spic-and-span clean) and the General was just going on and on about how nice it was.

The General asked if everything worked, and I explained that the Cruise Control Module was shot, and the HVAC Disc was leaking, so it only blows defrost.. and I stopped talking.. he looked at me expectantly like... go on... so I said, "That's it, Sir"

The General said "No sh*t, that's it?!" I said "No sh*t, Sir" and smiled.

He then said something about cost, but kind of beat around the bush and it seemed to me like he didn't want to ask how much I gave for it, but I kinda caught the gist of it.. So, I pulled out the paperwork to show him the Owners Manual, the paperwork, and I knew the bill of sale was in there, so I grabbed it too.. and just said "Oh, and that's what I paid for it, Sir.. " and handed him the bill of sale.. He looked at it, looked at me, looked at it, looked at me... and said "Damn, son.. Next time I have to negotiate with someone, I'm coming to get you!" and handed the bill of sale to the Colonel.. The Colonels eyes got big and he did a double-take and simply said "Damn".

I just smiled.. put the paperwork away, and he just.. Kept.. Going On about it.. The Rally II's... The Console and Buckets... the two-tone.. on and on..

So, I did something rather out of character for me... I decided to offer to let the General take it for a spin (Which is Rare for me, honestly. I don't let people drive my car. But he was a General and we were on an Air Force Base.. if anyone has ever been on a base, if the speed limit says 15, you do 15.. NOT 16. The maximum speed on the base is 30, and I don't care IF you're a General, you don't mess around on a base, Specificallty, this one.. Its insured, he had one, he loved it... What the hell... Seemed like the thing to do at the time)

So, I started it... fired right up, of course.. let it warm up a bit, and got out.. Looked at the General and said "Well, you might as well show the Colonel why a Grand Prix is better than a Monte Carlo", smiles, and motioned for him to get in the drivers seat while I held the door.

You shoulda seen the look on his face. Utter astonishment.

General: "Really?"
Me: "Sure, why not... You had one, you loved it, go for a spin"
General: "You Sure?"
Me: "Absolutely. I know where you work" and laughed.

So, he did.. Colonel got in the passenger seat, and he asked if I was going to get in, and I said "Nah, I need to do a little walking.. get my steps for the day in, so I'll do a few laps around the parking lot.. take your time"

So, they went for a cruise, and I walked around the parking lot.. about 20 minutes later (and about the time I started getting nervous, but it is a Large Base, so I figured they did a loop around the runways, which takes about 20, maybe 25 minutes.. here comes the car, and this General has the biggest grin on his face.

They got out, and the General shook my hand and said "I really appreciated that... brought back a lot of memories. Thank you very much"

I said "Not a problem, Sir. If you would like to take your wife out for a cruise for Date Night or something, just let me know" and smiled.

He said "Well, the Grand Prix was the Ex-Wife, and there might be questions from the Current wife" and laughed.

So, we shook hands again.. The Colonel (who really hadn't said much) shook my hand and said in a lower tone "you made his day" and smiled.

I just smiled, and said "Gentlemen, thank you for your service, have a good night"

Got in the car, and they started walking, I drove away...


About 1/2 way home, I noticed that the guy filled my damn tank up...

Gonna have to e-mail him tomorrow.

-Gonz
 
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Ribbedroof

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Jan 4, 2009
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Great story!
 
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MrSony

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Cool beans.
 

1evilregal

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Apr 23, 2009
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awesome story! and to all 3 of you, thank you for your service!
 
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Qdub24

Royal Smart Person
Sep 6, 2006
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Columbus, GA
Great story! Car guys are everywhere, usually the motorpool though.

*A few wars back, my BN CSM wanted to buy my old MCSS from me. I just felt awkward with the BN CSM always hovering around my car everyday.
 
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Aaron L. Thomas

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Jan 6, 2016
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Detroit, MI
Awesome story, I've always had much respect for military but since my daughter just returned from basic and AIT, I have an even greater appreciation for the military.

And I love it when people think Grand Prix's are Monte Carlo's, it gives me the opportunity to educate them on a few things. lol
 
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