Its been a long time coming but I realize these days I truly have a disorder of sometime. I wonder where it began, as I write this im not depressed or nothing. But I notice when I get really bored hangin out with my friends that I will begin talking about our other friends, the faults they have, the problems they have, the stuff they do wrong, why they are stupid etc, I dont know why I do it either. Yet I have my own problems in life who doesnt have problems. I do notice however since high school as my friends get married etc and go their own paths my problem is getting worse. Just stupid simple things I make big issues over, such as someone going fishing with me because they would rather do something with wife, gf, family, etc. Anyone know what this disorder is, even my friends are kinda walking away from me now because im turnin into a real prick at times.
disorder
- Thread starter 1986montecarlols
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It is frustration, I guess. I go through it too, but have had to come to grips with my own loneliness and the fact that life has moved on without me. It is something to do with how we react to the natural progression of life when we do not live the cycle at the same rate as everyone else. It's something I have been thinking about for some time now. That life has certain times for certain things, and those who do not or cannot conform to the cycle are left behind as everyone else progresses at the normal rate.
To some extent, it can also be part of the burden of significantly higher intelligence than the rest of the world. A high level of intelligence makes you fundamentally different than the rest of humanity since your brain processes the world differently. The things most do on instinct , you will tend to question instead. Intelligence, therefore, allows you to break from the animalistic side of being human and focus more on the logical. Unfortunately, we live in a world of the instinctual rather than the logical. That puts you at odds with the majority of humanity and makes normal social functioning difficult. In order to function, you need to find other people who are intelligent as they are the best sounding board for you. I have often had this discussion with the other intellectual slackers I know. While I can't really converse well with the majority of those around me, I do have friends that I can converse with. I have 4-5 hour long conversations with them all the time. Our conversations have been about politics, religion, philosophy, etc. and not about things like sports or pop culture, unless it is to criticize them and those who are interested in them. The sad thing is that none of them has ever been a member of the opposite sex. Sadder still is that they have all been able to have relationships while I have not. Sorry if this does not help, but it is a reflection of some of what I have come to realize about this matter.
I will also say that you need to find something that fulfills you. If you don't, you will turn increasingly bitter and will become susceptible to drug and alcohol problems as a way of dealing with life. I have seen it happen to enough people to understand what happens to potential unrealized. I myself do not use drugs or drink, but have made a few mistakes along the way in my attempt to deal with life. For me, I usually write a lot in various blogs and on this forum as a way to deal with things. right now, for example, I am working on a philosophical conundrum dealing with the nature of man and what composes a person's personality. Where does it come from, and is it based purely on the biochemical or something more than that? What is free will, and can a person ever be said to have free will if biological factors control so much of a person's decisions and personality? etc.
To some extent, it can also be part of the burden of significantly higher intelligence than the rest of the world. A high level of intelligence makes you fundamentally different than the rest of humanity since your brain processes the world differently. The things most do on instinct , you will tend to question instead. Intelligence, therefore, allows you to break from the animalistic side of being human and focus more on the logical. Unfortunately, we live in a world of the instinctual rather than the logical. That puts you at odds with the majority of humanity and makes normal social functioning difficult. In order to function, you need to find other people who are intelligent as they are the best sounding board for you. I have often had this discussion with the other intellectual slackers I know. While I can't really converse well with the majority of those around me, I do have friends that I can converse with. I have 4-5 hour long conversations with them all the time. Our conversations have been about politics, religion, philosophy, etc. and not about things like sports or pop culture, unless it is to criticize them and those who are interested in them. The sad thing is that none of them has ever been a member of the opposite sex. Sadder still is that they have all been able to have relationships while I have not. Sorry if this does not help, but it is a reflection of some of what I have come to realize about this matter.
I will also say that you need to find something that fulfills you. If you don't, you will turn increasingly bitter and will become susceptible to drug and alcohol problems as a way of dealing with life. I have seen it happen to enough people to understand what happens to potential unrealized. I myself do not use drugs or drink, but have made a few mistakes along the way in my attempt to deal with life. For me, I usually write a lot in various blogs and on this forum as a way to deal with things. right now, for example, I am working on a philosophical conundrum dealing with the nature of man and what composes a person's personality. Where does it come from, and is it based purely on the biochemical or something more than that? What is free will, and can a person ever be said to have free will if biological factors control so much of a person's decisions and personality? etc.
exactly
right man, it also seems as though the people that I get along with now a days are the professors and other students that share the same major in school as me. The others I once hung out with I dont get along with. My best friend the one I talk about a lot tells me I have an inferiority complex which I too believe is true to a point.
right man, it also seems as though the people that I get along with now a days are the professors and other students that share the same major in school as me. The others I once hung out with I dont get along with. My best friend the one I talk about a lot tells me I have an inferiority complex which I too believe is true to a point.
Re: exactly
I can relate to the whole inferiority complex thing as I went through it once. I struggled with it for a long time because I was always an outsider who didn't fit. I now realize it is due to my superior intelligence and that there is nothing wrong with me. Like I said, you have to find your own unique place in this world, just like everyone else. Anyhow, I gotta go to work now so I'll finish my thoughts on this later.
1986montecarlols said:
I can relate to the whole inferiority complex thing as I went through it once. I struggled with it for a long time because I was always an outsider who didn't fit. I now realize it is due to my superior intelligence and that there is nothing wrong with me. Like I said, you have to find your own unique place in this world, just like everyone else. Anyhow, I gotta go to work now so I'll finish my thoughts on this later.
As far as talking about other people and their faults, so long as it is not malicious in nature, that makes you normal. Everyone does that sort of thing. It's kind of the default conversation we all have.
Remember too that introspection can be healthy, but too much of it will cripple you emotionally. Everyone has their faults an none of us ever live this life perfectly. Imperfection in yourself is something you will have to come to expect and accept. Most of the faults you have are not as unique as you may think, and therefore are not going to make people hate you unless you are really cruel to them.
Also remember that most healthy people desire a relationship with a special member of the opposite sex. Your friends are just being human as I suspect you or I would be if we found that special someone. For average people this process is much easier than for those who are either significantly above or below average in the intelligence area. Intelligence does color your perception of the world and so it is likely you will relate best with those that are nearer your level. I can't tell you where to find someone though, because if I knew the answer to that I would do it myself.
Remember this too: There are different kinds of intelligence. There is a cognitive intelligence that works well for problem solving, but there is also what I call being "Life Smart". That has more to do with your choices and the way you interact with others than actual IQ. Sometimes very smart people do very dumb things that ruin their lives because they fail to understand how to live. The ability to do high level math is one thing, but it does not convey upon a person the ability to hold down a good job, or keep a good credit rating, for example. Within cognitive intelligence there are several branches as well. Very few people do everything well. For example, I can design mechanical systems fairly well, but I couldn't paint a picture to save my life. I can write technical stuff, but not a novel, etc. Thus, while I may be intelligent, my intelligence is more geared towards the technical than the artistic. It is rare to find someone who can do it all.
Lastly, learn to accept yourself and both your strengths and weaknesses. Learn too how to love other people for who they are and the unique things they bring to the table of your life. Everyone has something to teach you, even if that something is what NOT to do. Also, don't take life too seriously. After all, no matter what you do you are eventually going to die.
Remember too that introspection can be healthy, but too much of it will cripple you emotionally. Everyone has their faults an none of us ever live this life perfectly. Imperfection in yourself is something you will have to come to expect and accept. Most of the faults you have are not as unique as you may think, and therefore are not going to make people hate you unless you are really cruel to them.
Also remember that most healthy people desire a relationship with a special member of the opposite sex. Your friends are just being human as I suspect you or I would be if we found that special someone. For average people this process is much easier than for those who are either significantly above or below average in the intelligence area. Intelligence does color your perception of the world and so it is likely you will relate best with those that are nearer your level. I can't tell you where to find someone though, because if I knew the answer to that I would do it myself.
Remember this too: There are different kinds of intelligence. There is a cognitive intelligence that works well for problem solving, but there is also what I call being "Life Smart". That has more to do with your choices and the way you interact with others than actual IQ. Sometimes very smart people do very dumb things that ruin their lives because they fail to understand how to live. The ability to do high level math is one thing, but it does not convey upon a person the ability to hold down a good job, or keep a good credit rating, for example. Within cognitive intelligence there are several branches as well. Very few people do everything well. For example, I can design mechanical systems fairly well, but I couldn't paint a picture to save my life. I can write technical stuff, but not a novel, etc. Thus, while I may be intelligent, my intelligence is more geared towards the technical than the artistic. It is rare to find someone who can do it all.
Lastly, learn to accept yourself and both your strengths and weaknesses. Learn too how to love other people for who they are and the unique things they bring to the table of your life. Everyone has something to teach you, even if that something is what NOT to do. Also, don't take life too seriously. After all, no matter what you do you are eventually going to die.
I've read this thread, and I have to say that recently I too have noticed I have issues with other people and there decisions.
In my profession, I have to work with a lot of diffucult people. One of my technicians is "that guy", you know the one who has an answer for everything. The guy who wants you to bow to him, do your job so he can do his, but then gives out no recognition to his fellow employees and no respect. He gets what he wants, then stabs and slams you on how you do your job. I take my job very seriously, and I care a great deal about my performance. I have a high school kid that works with me, and last night he and I talked. He too is having trouble with this guy as he refers to young grasshopper as 'the little N*****'. I do not tolerate this language in the workplace, and tomorrow I have a meeting with my boss, who is the owner of the company, to discuss these issues before I go postal on this jagoff. This guy needs to be checked every couple of months, and he is due again. I'm the type of guy to regulate to an extent, but as I said before I've had moments of going postal. Usually not the thing to do, but it happens. I've had enough of being stabbed in the back only to be expected to bend over. I've had enough of my co-workers being treated the same way, and I'm tired of this clown crying about how everyone else does there job and then will stand around talking and not get his own work done.
Another issue I have is being constantly contradicted by others. Especially when its someone calling becuase they have a question, I answer it, and then they question me! If you know the answer, why are you wasting my time? My patience is very thin these days.
I also have issues with my friends. Maybe its me, but I'm tired of having to babysit some of them constantly. They call for help, and I'm always willing, but then they don't do it. I'm guilty of getting pissed when someone asks my advice and then doesn't take it.
Enough for now, time for bed. You are not alone in this battle.
In my profession, I have to work with a lot of diffucult people. One of my technicians is "that guy", you know the one who has an answer for everything. The guy who wants you to bow to him, do your job so he can do his, but then gives out no recognition to his fellow employees and no respect. He gets what he wants, then stabs and slams you on how you do your job. I take my job very seriously, and I care a great deal about my performance. I have a high school kid that works with me, and last night he and I talked. He too is having trouble with this guy as he refers to young grasshopper as 'the little N*****'. I do not tolerate this language in the workplace, and tomorrow I have a meeting with my boss, who is the owner of the company, to discuss these issues before I go postal on this jagoff. This guy needs to be checked every couple of months, and he is due again. I'm the type of guy to regulate to an extent, but as I said before I've had moments of going postal. Usually not the thing to do, but it happens. I've had enough of being stabbed in the back only to be expected to bend over. I've had enough of my co-workers being treated the same way, and I'm tired of this clown crying about how everyone else does there job and then will stand around talking and not get his own work done.
Another issue I have is being constantly contradicted by others. Especially when its someone calling becuase they have a question, I answer it, and then they question me! If you know the answer, why are you wasting my time? My patience is very thin these days.
I also have issues with my friends. Maybe its me, but I'm tired of having to babysit some of them constantly. They call for help, and I'm always willing, but then they don't do it. I'm guilty of getting pissed when someone asks my advice and then doesn't take it.
Enough for now, time for bed. You are not alone in this battle.
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