If the fly wheel and/or torque converter is bad I am pretty sure it can tear the crank in half over time. Since it vibrates in park and neutral that would definately point torwards the balancer, fly wheel, and torque converter being bad. Check the balancer for any dry rot cracks on the rubber or anything that would indicate that its slipping. The flexplate will have a spec for how much warpage it will have and the converter will also have specs to see if it is out of round/ warped and if the size is the same from it possibly ballooning to much.