Choose Your Automotive Hell-Communist Style!

[85 Cutlass Brougham]

When you think about bad cars (and I think about them often!) the cars of the former Soviet Block invariably come to mind. With this in mind, which car would you choose of you were condemned to drive one for 5 years as punishment?

Yugo 45 (GV). Made in the former Yugoslavia, and actually sold new in the US. It was based on a discarded Fiat design (Fiat 127?) like many Communist cars, as we shall soon see.

Lada 2101. Seen as a people's car in the Soviet Union, it was actually a copy of the mid 1960's Fiat 124, only worse. They used drum brakes instead of discs, and used a Soviet engine (designed by Fiat) instead of the original. Think this car is long gone? Oh no it's not! New ones are still being built in Egypt. So, it's a 40 year old Italian design, improved on by the Soviets and built by the Egyptians! Sadly, it was one of the better cars to come from the Soviets...

FSO Polonez: Not to be outdone by their Soviet overlords, The Polish ALSO built a copy of the Fiat 124!

Sachsenring Trabant P601: By far, the best known example of an Eastern block car. The Germans would not be making some copy of a Fiat, oh no. They made their own damn designs! The Trabant is a very interesting car from a technical standpoint as it has a 600cc 2 cylinder, 2 stroke engine driving the front wheels (it only weighs 60lbs!!!), 4 wheel independent transverse leaf spring suspension ( like a Corvette), and a curb weight of 1344lbs. The most unusual thing though is the body, made of Duroplast. It's a composite material made of cotton or wool scraps bonded in a phenolic resin. Duroplast is not molded in shape like fiberglass, but rather pressed like steel. It has a 0-60 time comparable to a 231 2bbl V6/Th200/2.41 axle G body (I admit it's crap, but I do want one.)

Wartburg 353: The Trabant's bigger brother. Also East German, it was more expensive and used by higher ups in the communist party. No mere Prole drove a Wartburg! Wartburgs are unique in that they sold cars in the US after WWII. Like the Trabant, it had a 2 stroke engine, but it had 3 cylinders instead of the Trabi's 2. It also had the transverse leaf spring suspension. The engine from a Wartburg can be swapped into a Trabant, and the result is called a "Traburg".

 

[midwestls]

I say the 3rd one. I kinda feel sorry for anybody that has to be seen within 100 feet of that ugly thing. 😳 But if anybody has an extra that green thing I think that would make a cool car to put a twin turbo LS1 in 8)

 

[jrm81bu]

I think i'd have to rock the Yugo. Never thought i'd hear myself say that. 😳

 

[85 Cutlass Brougham]

I say the 3rd one. I kinda feel sorry for anybody that has to be seen within 100 feet of that ugly thing. 😳 But if anybody has an extra that green thing I think that would make a cool car to put a twin turbo LS1 in 8)

I am trying to figure out how to get a Trabant (the green one) so that I can import it and put a Hayabusa engine in it... An LS1 would increase the car's weight by 50%.

 

[midwestls]

Yeah, but look at it this way. It would be all motor :lol: :lol:

 

[2000.malibu.ls]

i wanna see that green one with some 15" inch wheels on it, would prolly look like 24's! lol

 

[Blake442]

Well first I'd wonder what I had done to deserve such punishment!

It's hard to say... 5 years is a long time...probably about 125,000 miles for me.

The Trabant almost looks like fun...although I'm sure the novelty would wear off.

The Lada 2101 would probably be fairly tollerable if they've been around for so long. (people won't put up with total garbage forever...)

The FSO Polonez is probably one of the ugliest cars I've ever seen. The shear embarrassment of driving it would be torture enough, let alone what a pile it probably is.

The Wartburg 353 may be the "high end" sh*t box, but not even the pedigree of being the car of the elite would make me pick it.

That leaves the one and only Yugo. Since these were sold new in the U.S., in theory, they shouldn't be that bad. In theory. But the fact that they were available here, means that when it inevitibly breaks down in the next five years, I should be able to find the parts to fix it, whereas you'd be outta luck with all the others. Another deciding factor was that quite a few of them run 2 stroke engines. No thanks. I'd rather not constantly dick around with mixing oil in my gas when it's -20 out. Or is it not necessary on those engines? So I'd pick the Yugo...

 

[85 Cutlass Brougham]

I never said they had to be left stock. For me, it's a hard choice as I am torn between two of my all time favorite automotive turds. The Yugo is from Yugoslavia, and it is a truly awful rendition of an old Fiat, but that being said, it isn't a pure communist design, and it does not pollute enough for my taste. So, Trabant it is. However, in my fun little world it would become a BEC, or bike engined car. I have been working on how and what engine, but I think I have it solved enough that I could start fabrication if I ever found myself in the possession of Eastern Europe's most endearing automotive turd. The Wartburg, well... It's about as attractive as a wart, so I'd pass on it except to take it's engine for a possible Traburg swap. Speaking of Traburgs, I'll post a video of one being driven hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzjT5bw00Cw

Here's an Eastern European Trabant rallyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCe ... re=related!

 

[85 Cutlass Brougham]

I will also add that there is ONE Communist car that is above them all. Probably that is because it was designed when Czechoslovakia was a free country. It goes almost without saying that I am discussing the Tatra. I finally got to see a collection of them at the Tampa International Auto Show in November, and I was pretty much jumping up and down with glee! Hanz Ledwinka is one of my idols, and a chance to see his brainchild up close (4 of them!!! Even a T-77!!!) was just amazing. In person, they are smaller than I thought they would be, but wow. What a car! Even by today's standards they are VERY aerodynamic (CD of 0.212!). Plus, rear engined air cooled hemi V8. In the 1930's! Hitler liked Tatra so much that he invaded...err "annexed" the whole country!

This is one of the prototypes for the T-77 from the mid 30's.

Later models were produced in limited numbers for high party officials, but none were designed by Ledwinka after this. So, the Tatraplan, 603, etc. were not pure Tatras in the sense that they sprung forth from the fertile mind of one visionary man, but they were nonetheless amazing cars. The last of them were built in the 1990's after the fall of communism in eastern Europe.

 

[midwestls]

That one might be cool with a supercharged Northstar? 8)