Halleyuah, the car is running again, a true Easter miracle!
Mechanic found a couple bent push rods..as expected. What he suspects is that the engine hasn't had a readjustment of the valve train since it was last rebuilt by the guy I bought it from. During the break-in period some loosening has apparently occurred. I gave it a rev hard enough to shake a rocker out of place (testing out a new tachometer). I think it reached 6,000 rpms, tach goes up to 8,000. Makes sense to me. No pulled studs, no valve damage or bad lifters, the elongated holes apparently didn't need guide plates either. It actually ran the smoothest since I got it during the ride home...at least the sound coming from the upper half of the motor seemed more in tune. It only set me back $300, not including 80 from another shop that was too uncertain to actually fix it. I have two souvenir push rods to remind me to be more cautious.
I won't get my hopes up until I put a few more miles on it though. I've been driving it lightly, only 55 on the highway for about 5 miles so far. Also it's about half a quart low on oil.