Sh*tbox Stories

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Sep 1, 2006
6,687
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Tampa Bay Area
Everyone has tales of their fast cars, and nice cars. However some of the best tales are of the cheap cars that could, I affectionately call them shitboxes. Now, to be a shitbox car, it need not be old, it can be new. A Honda Fit, for example is a shitbox even though it is an expensive new car. It just has to be a subcompact 4 cylinder economy car. I have owned several of them, and refer them by their number. Shitboxes 1-3. #1 was a 1990 Olds Calais Quad 4 that was so terrible I swore I would never again own a late model American car. I traded it in ( for $200!) on #2, a new 1998 Nissan Sentra XE/5speed. I loved the fuel economy, but trade it in 3 mos later on my truck ( not a shitbox).

#3 was ANOTHER B14 Sentra, a 1995 GXE/auto I bought wrecked for $350. This is the one I most affectionately remember as it was cheap, and impervious to anything except a Rav 4 turning in front of it in an intersection. :cry: I had always wondered if the airbags worked since they did not deploy in the accident that totaled it before I bought it, but I guess they did. I jumped it, practiced FWD rally driving techniques, handbrake turned it, and used it to haul all manner of stuff. It even got 50+mpg on the highway. It was also FUGLY. Fugly enough that I tinted the back windows 5% and the fronts 20% so no one would see me. The body was many different colors, depending on the color of the car I sourced the parts from after hitting something with it. The wheels depended on what I could find with a good tire on it in the U pull it for $10, and it had a stereo made up of cast off stuff like the old CD player from my truck, a $50 set of Alpine 10's in a box built for a convertible 87 Mustang , and a free 4 channel amp with 2 bad channels that ran them. The deck speakers were 3 way Pioneers put there by the previous owner, and the fronts were Lightning Audio from Wal Mart that I put there...lol. It also had an alarm that was installed by the previous owner, but I cut the siren wires and just used it as keyless entry. I helped improve the handling with a $10 front sway bar from a 200sx SE (The only thing that changed on a SE vs base suspension), and was waiting to find bigger wheels for the brake upgrade I had just sourced from a junked NX2000. It even had a chrome exhaust tip I scavenged from the side of the road, and a cold air intake I got off Ebay for $35. I have lots of stories about that car, and miss it. It's funny how the least valuable cars are sometimes the most fun.
 

Phoenyx

Royal Smart Person
Jun 27, 2007
2,392
7
0
Alberta, Canada
Well the G-body I just parked was a shitbox. One of the power steering lines sprung a leak, so I just let it go dry and steered the armstrong way. The drivers door could only be opened from the outside. The high beame didn't work. Everything that could be broke in the steering column was. The wipers would only go if I was holding the wash button (and no, the washers didn't work). One of the back vent windows was broke and was held in with duct tape. The back spring were replaced by the previous owner with ones that were to high and to stiff. Lots of rust (except the frame). Badly pitted windshield (impossible to see through when other headlights were facing me). Rotted out leaky single exhaust. 4 bald tires. Ripped up seats. Glove box wouldn't close most of the time. Slow drain on the battery, would need to be recharged if it wasn't driven every few days.....

But it had a good V8, TH350 with a shift kit, and my 3.73 rear. Shitbox yes, but it's so fun watching thos mustang guys and HEMI guys faces as I blew there doors off lol.
 

pokertramp

G-Body Guru
Aug 10, 2008
564
1
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My first car was a 1982 Renault Fuego. 0-60 in about 13 seconds,lol. The tires where very expensive, they are metric 355 mm if I remember correctly and $200 each in 1993 and parts where hard to find.

RFuego08.jpg



Then I had a 1979 Vette....

100_9655.jpg
 

78mali350

Royal Smart Person
May 13, 2007
1,689
5
38
Pratt, KS
I had a 97 Lumina that was a hand-me-down from my sister. It leaked some oil but overall it was pretty nice. I could spin the tires on it haha. did alot of mudding with that car too. had to get pulled out more than once. Then i went on to my Shitty *ss camaro but i don't need to go into details about that one haha
 
Sep 1, 2006
6,687
34
0
Tampa Bay Area
One of my best stories with my Sentra was taking a friend for a ride and turning into his neighborhood. He didn't believe that a car rolling on 175-70-13's could handle well. I took a 90 degree turn doing 35-40mph, and he looks at me and says, "Yeah, it'll out handle the Mustang." His Mustang, BTW, had 17's was lowered, had subframe connectors and a cage and had 4 wheel disc brakes ( and a 331 stroker). I dunno, maybe it's that I know how to wring every last ounce of performance out of shitty cars. This is the same friend I almost lost out the passenger's window when taking a turn too fast in a Wal Mart parking lot in my Frontier. My favorite commentary on my driving in the Frontier was when a cop told me "It says Frontier on the side, NOT Ferrari!!!" I wonder why no one ever wants to ride with me?
 

axisg

Comic Book Super Hero
Jul 17, 2007
2,686
2,356
113
YYZ
[quote="

Then I had a 1979 Vette....

100_9655.jpg
[/quote]

Nice !!!! I loved those cars for their ability to take a beating and keep going.


My best "sh*tbox" was my 1995 Dodge Neon. Driven since new off the dealer lot and by far the best piece of junk I ever owned. Great on gas, A/C, and still pretty peppy. I drove that car for 12 years and sold it ( still running great too ) because I had too many cars in the driveway.
 

dan2286

Royal Smart Person
Mar 25, 2008
2,233
4
0
Cleveland, Ohio
I dont have any shitbox stories, but here is some good ones from my friends. One had an older Civic with a custom sawzall convertible that was taken offroad, crashed into on purpose by friends car many times, rr track jumped and blown up with hamburger meat, water, a little bit of transmission fluid and a brick on the gas pedal. Another friend had a pos Jeep that ran on 3 out of 6 cylinders and its main purpose was just to drive it around on the fields around his house and try to do the stupidest stuff in. It was purposely ran into trees, over rocks, through ditches, etc., etc. It is now in the scrap yard now.
 

crappycutlass

Master Mechanic
May 28, 2007
312
1
0
HOLY sh*t... that's all i drive anymore..

right now my beater is a 1994 civic 2dr coupe.. there's holes in the back so bad you can fit your fist threw.. yesterday i was in Kingston and heard a scraping.. stopped and found the one of my tank straps broke.. but i was like OK there's still one... until i touched it and the tank dropped 10"s..

so after 30 mins and 2 ratchet straps.. i was on my way home on the 401..that's the most recent...
BTW the civic i have now.. gets 35 MPG and i paid 300$ for it from a wrecker ... woot.


drove a Beretta gt for 3 weeks with one from caliper and the rest were pinched off...



man soo many stories...

oh oh.. a 79 firebird esprit... so rotted that the leafs came thru the truck floor on the way home..


and my best to date...

1987 mustang GT 5.0l ..
after MULTIPLE hard launches ... the torque box came thru the floor pushing up the rear seat... and it started dog tracking on the road.. drove it after that for a bit ... but it was by far the scariest thing to drive ever..
250hp and a rear that's only attached on one side.. twisty..

the stang



SD530465.jpg
 

229MonteHO

Apprentice
Jul 4, 2008
63
0
6
Liverpool, NY
beatercars-1.jpg


Here is my collection. Although not 4 cylinder cars as stated in the beginning, these cars can classify as "shitboxes."

1) 1981 Chevy Monte Carlo, 229 V6, 250C. This car had 128k on it, no lockup, rotten trunk floor and rear parcel shelf, rotten core support (where it bolts to the fenders) but ran like a scalded cat eating jalepenos! The cat was long gone, I replaced the rotten OE muffler with a summit turbo muffler, and hacksawed the snorkel off of the air cleaner. Add a set of Accel wires and this thing ran like a top and got 22 mpg. too bad it was rotten in multiple areas. Bought for $200, drove for 6 months, sold for $300.

2) 1988 Pontiac GP, 2.8 V6. The digital odometer read 210k when purchased. After I started driving it I noticed the digital cluster would lose the fuel level and odometer intermittently. I came to the conclusion this car had closer to 250k on the clock. Only replaced plugs, wires, trans cooler line, and air filter. This car was bought when I had to sell off my paid for '94 Camaro and '95 Saturn SC2 to pay some medical bills. I paid $100 for it, drove it for 5-6 months, and took it to the junkyard and got $85 for it.

3) 1985 Ford T-bird, 3.8 V6, C5 transmission. I wrecked my '94 Cavalier with a year to go on the payments. The funny thing is I sold this car for a neighbor about 2 years before purchasing it myself from the guy I sold it to! My friend sold it to me for $200, it had 198k on it, had a knocking rod bearing, leaky power steering line, and had half the vacuum hoses disconnected. This car performed several Dukes of Hazzard style stunts (including a jump about 6 feet high and 40 feet long, and a reverse j-turn at 40 mph), ran out of coolant twice, drove through brush that would kill a small truck, revved it to about 4 grand and shifted into drive, and it still wouldn't die! I drove it for about 5 months, and sold it to the junkyard with 203k for $75.

I'm not one to baby cars much, and these three cars literally got the sh*t pounded out of them. They took it all in stride. The T-bird and the GP went to the yard for serious mechanical failures. The 'Bird suffered a loss of oil pressure (idled at about 5 lbs. and topped out at maybe 12 lbs.), and the GP blew the steering rack (went through a bottle of Lucas steering additive in 30 miles). The Monte was sold to a friend in need of point A to B transportation in 2005, and as of a year ago it was still seen tooling around!


Aaron
 
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