Joke of the day


Sep 18, 2009
Queens, NY
]]My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness and I said. "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, Close enough."
I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget, all at the same time!
Retirement to do list: Wake up.
People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full, miss the point. The glass is refillable.
I don't have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.
Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.
I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.
One minute you're young and fun. Next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better.
Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment because you must deal with everyone who doesn't have it.
I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back.
If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot. (This is a good idea. Think I’ll try it.)
I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented ... I forgot where I was going with this!
Having plans sounds like a good idea, until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It's weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter either.
It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.
I see people my age mountain climbing. I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

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Comic Book Super Hero
Supporting Member
Feb 20, 2018
Around my place that is an oxymoron, aka a contradiction in terms. Doing nothing is impossible when there is too much to do and too little time in which to get it all done.

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