My Camry is (maybe not?) on it's deathbed- Rant

[joesregalproject]

First, you already know that engine is done. It's not even a viable core at this point, IMHO (I've got some Toyota experience). If I were in your shoes I'd say, "Hey sis, I love you and tried to help you out. You didn't listen to my warnings about regular maintenance and generally treated my car very poorly. Your options are to go buy you own car now, or drive this one until it absolutely will not run. Might be tomorrow, might be a year from now. Either way, you'll be walking and paying a tow truck to bring it to me. Then I'll have to clean up your mess." Spoiler alert; you'll be paying for the tow truck.

She'll likely opt to drive it until it seizes, you know, because she's busy. Doesn't matter -- engine's already ruined.

I can't answer what to do with it. The car has the same value running with no oil pressure or with the engine seized. I can understand some sentimental attachment and the idea of not wanting to give away all the new parts and labor. (You may remember my rant about my daughter not wanting to drive the Neon I basically restored for her -- I absolutely get it). If it was just the engine, I'd fix it. But if the cosmetics are that bad, maybe that just doesn't make sense. You have 4 other cars, so it's not like you need to fix it. Might be best to cut your losses. I can't say. That's a decision only you can make.

Sounds like you kind of expected this from her. I know it stings but it's best to just suck it up and write this good deed off. You just got proof that no good deed goes unpunished. She'll always be family and there's dozens of holidays, birthdays, weddings and funerals ahead. Don't ever bring this up again, and NEVER GO OUT ON A LIMB FOR HER AGAIN. Sometimes being the grownup is frustrating and expensive.

Sorry your sister sucks.

You pretty much nailed it. I couldn't have summed it up any better myself. I have a lot of issues with my sister, extending far beyond her just beating up on the car. We just have very opposite personalities. She'll go out of her way to do completely unnecessary favors for her friends, but when it comes to her own family, she wouldn't piss on us if we were on fire.

We are civil with each other but it's nearly impossible to have any type of real conversation with her. Basically limited to talking about the weather. She lives in the same house and didn't know that I had gotten an associates degree and had already gotten a job and been working there for 3 months. Anyways I'll chalk this one up as experience.

As for what to do with the car once it does leave her stranded, it hard to say. As you said, I have 4 other cars, I don't exactly need a fifth. It doesn't have a straight panel on it, just about every panel has those deep scratches in it, the clear is starting to peel on the C pillars, and it would need front and rear bumper covers. The interior would need a new drivers seat, a headliner, a steering wheel and I wouldn't even waste time trying to clean the carpet. I could probably live with the exterior being ugly, but the interior is just ****ing disgusting, I couldn't stand to sit in it. It would be a lot of work but keep in mind you are talking to the guy who restored a rusted out $300 truck because I liked it and the A/C still worked.

 

[dirtywhiteboy]

Just tell her you are giving it to her. Sign over the title, cancel the insurance and be done with it.

My wife has 2 sisters that are the same way (and so are their kids). We have spent THOUSANDS propping them up.
I put an end to the bleeding the last time we were asked for money to buy my niece's car out of repossession.
It will never end unless YOU end it.

 

[Clone TIE Pilot]

Stories like this makes me glad I am an only child. What you should have told her is that if she didn't check the oil, it would make her look fat and all her friends will gossip about her being fat.

 

[Wageslave]

Don't feel too bad, my youngest sister is 25 years old, and has never had a job. Not even a part-time one. She just leeches off of everyone, and won't make the least amount of effort to better herself.

Sometimes you just need to eat your losses and cut ties to keep your sanity.

As far as the car goes, I would fix the engine. All the interior crap and the bumper covers can be replaced with a trip to the U-Pull yard, as Camrys don't exactly have a huge variety of interiors and are usually pretty durable.

 

[L92 OLDS]

I hate to generalize or sound misogynistic, but in my experience, most (non-enthusiast) women could generally care less about cars and maintenance. Some are super meticulous, and "by-the-book" when it comes to maintenance, but a lot of them, when left to their own devices, will just neglect them and drive them into the ground prematurely.

So true. This story reminds me of an 96' Saturn SC2 I bought for 400 bucks. It was previously owned by a young lady and had a seized engine because she didn't check or change the oil. The instrument panel, steering wheel, everything she touched was caked in make up foundation. It destroyed the pad printing on the buttons so I had to replace most all the HVAC, stereo and other misc. buttons. I bought a used motor from LKQ and it turned out to be a nice little car with some care.

 

[85442/86buick]

one upside of your post . I did check the oil level in my 03 Camry early this am.

thanks for the reminder , oh and it was down a litre .

 

[olds307 and 403]

Walk away from it, tell her it is toast. My Daughter drove 3 hours without telling me, ran the 1996 Toyota Tercel with 400,000 km down 1.5 liters, that left 2 liters in it! Somehow it didn't die, sounds perfectly fine. Did I mention she hit a Moose and only lost a mirror and dented the passenger door so now it won't open. My oldest Daughter drove my Dakota home in second gear. In her defense Dodge's stupid indicator is impossible to keep reading accurate. Oil light on and also a horrible howling that I couldn't find, pulled the timing chain cover, thought it might be the chain guide nope. My middle Daughter also cooked the 2004R I had in my 70S, drove out of town without telling me. The Hughes pan always seeped plus the seal rolled for the dipstick causing enough of a leak to run the trans low enough to cook the 3-4 clutch. We had a 2004 Corrolla, got wrote off with 250,000 km. That 1.8 5 spd was bullet proof and got 50 mpg. It never used a drop of oil. She needs to something more forgiving. My Wife would have traded in our 2010 Challenger sooner if she was in charge of adding oil, was using a liter maybe every 3000 km and the 3.5 ticked bad. My Wife is capable, always noticed low tires etc but likes hassle free driving. I love the new Challenger can go 10K between oil changes. Come to think of it, I also like hassle free driving.

 

[Streetbu]

I haven't spoken to my sister in almost ten years. She called me begging for money, kicked out of her apartment I guess. I paid for a hotel room for a few days, she swore she'd pay me next week. Mind you I was only a couple of months into my divorce. Now I knew she wasn't going to pay me, that isn't even the bad part. I knew was going to get stiffed on the money. She wouldn't return my phone calls, emails or text messages. That's when I cut the cord and my life is better without her. All I wanted was some bullshit excuse saying oh something came up and I'm sorry but I don't have it this week. Instead she just ghosted me. What's worse is she is a registered nurse with her master's degree in oncology... And a piece of crap 🙁

 

[1evilregal]

If let her drive it until it blows, then let her walk. Kinda went through the same with my niece last year. Her murano went to the trans shop with a bad cvt trans, and was in shop jail while she came up with the $4k to replace it. She pretty much drove mine into the ground, including doing some body damage that she never even apologized for. I’ve pretty much given up on lending to family that I don’t entirely trust to maintain like it’s their own...

Sucks that you had to learn the lesson this way....

 

[olds307 and 403]

I haven't spoken to my sister in almost ten years. She called me begging for money, kicked out of her apartment I guess. I paid for a hotel room for a few days, she swore she'd pay me next week. Mind you I was only a couple of months into my divorce. Now I knew she was in going to pay me, that isn't even the bad part. I knew was going to get stiffed on the money. She wouldn't return my phone calls, emails or text messages. That's when I cut the cord and my life is better without her. All I wanted was some bullshit excuse saying oh something came up and I'm sorry but I don't have it this week. Instead she just ghosted me. What's worse is she is a registered nurse with her master's degree in oncology... And a piece of crap 🙁

My middle Sister also has her Master's degree in Nursing, also a POS I avoid. She uses and abuses men, until they run out of money. She is always the victim.