I did one of those? lol.
Last night on my way home from work, I stopped and grabbed a cheap battery from Wal-mart. Today, I took a few minutes and swapped it out. No joke the old one probably weighed about 65% of the new one. Yeah, pretty well gone. And who decided to put the fender bar smack dab across the top so you can't just pull it out? Anyway, five minutes in and the battery was installed. Hopped in the car, used my plier-I mean, key, and it cranked nice and strong. Gave it a few extra seconds, but just had spinning, no firing. Well heck, I have a splash of gas in this here can by the lawnmower.. dribbled a few into the carb, hopped in, and first touch, VROOOM started instantly, And imagine my surprise when it didn't immediately sputter and die out, but continued to run. I was sure it would burn off those drops and die, but nope. Sure enough, still running. Shut it down, blew all four tires up (because who wouldn't want to roll on 10+ year old rotten rubber!) and then hopped in. Started right up yet again. Ok, now the moment of truth. Into Reverse...
And nothing. Hmm. Ok, little gas? I mean, this transmission hasn't shifted in freaking forever. Might need some convincing. Sure enough, a little gas and she popped free into movement. End of the driveway, back to drive, clicked right in and moved. Car definitely has a plug or wire missing somewhere, it was sputtering, but I did take it for a slow, max of 30 mph mile up the road and back. It wasn't so much the old tires that worried me, nor the misfire, but rather that half the freaking lugs are missing. Left front has 3, left rear - TWO, right front 4, and right rear, another 3. Not too concerned as I'll replace all of them anyway. Shifts into second nice and crisp, I was surprised. I'm not going to try for more for the time being, plenty of time ahead. Did see some smoke out the rear window on the way back. Ok, that's fine anyway. It might lead me to whatever had happened before it was parked.
Not coolant leaking or burning off as I expected (nothing out the tailpipe either), but rather, what appears to be some pretty failed valve cover gaskets. Depending on how many more nice days we end up with, I might get around to those before snow, but if not, at least I know they're needed. And since they're cheap enough, even if they aren't the cause of what smoked up years back, can't hurt to replace them to narrow out what the issue is. Harder to see other leaks if there's leaky oil smoking everywhere, I guess. But all in all, a minor victory. Next up is waiting on the ignition switch to arrive, to avoid having to use pliers for on and off. One step at a time.