Hey guys, thanks for all the help and input. really appreciated it.
After a little delay from having had an outpatient procedure, we took apart the laptop enough to remove the harddrive. I'm surprised I didn't do anything stupid during the process with as much meds as I was/am on.
We bought a small plug in countertop version of what you can do with cables - idsonix hard drive docking station. It ended up being about $14 by taking the credit to downgrade to 2 day shipping on amazon.
Plugged it into the top loading dock like an old video game, turned it on, worked like a charm. Meanwhile the ol salad shooter got tossed in the corner of her work room. Told her she can do whatever she wants with it someday.