To tow or not to tow partiers cars parked in my yard

Ah-mm, it's kind of a "while you're there thing, but if you are both contemplating your belly button and the satisfaction involved in pursuing valve stem surgery, a 20V battery impact gun and the correct socket equals missing lug nuts. Can't go or get very far when the wheels literally fall off. After that, well, wouldn't it be oh so convenient for a tow truck to show up; especially if it tows for the county. (Just me, here, doing my personal imitation of the "the Brain" and pondering the universe.)
 
Maybe a better idea- let Mother nature and protected species take care of the problem(idea seed from another post)=
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I don't know how to attract enough of them to be a formidable force(maybe 8-10), but they would certainly discourage visitors to your property.
Nothing worse than a goose with a bad attitude; which they all seem to be born with. Biggest problems with geese, once you attract them, is how to get rid of them. Once they nest and have goslings, the whole family will just keep coming back year after year, not only that but as the kids become adults and start their own families, all of them will make an appearance as well. Having two or three dozen perpetually pissed off geese haunting your front yard, ******** all over everything ('cause they are born incontinent and can eat and sh*t at the same time), while vigorously chasing off and beating on anything or one that gets too close by their standards, is not the most calming of visions with which to start the day. Of course if you could train the geese to only sh*t on the vehicles of your trespassers......don't think geese train all that well. And shotgun services as a removal method for them might just be against the law in your state unless it is hunting season.



Nick
 
Ah-mm, it's kind of a "while you're there thing, but if you are both contemplating your belly button and the satisfaction involved in pursuing valve stem surgery, a 20V battery impact gun and the correct socket equals missing lug nuts. Can't go or get very far when the wheels literally fall off. After that, well, wouldn't it be oh so convenient for a tow truck to show up; especially if it tows for the county. (Just me, here, doing my personal imitation of the "the Brain" and pondering the universe.)


I'm somewhat late here. If the local authorities won't do anything about it, then I can assure you that I'd have a 5 gallon pail of lugnuts.

Then the next morning I'd be selling lug nuts for $10 a piece. And perhaps offer a jack rental. I can't speak for your local ordinances, but here it's extremely difficult to be convicted of stealing items on your own property.
 
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2 other ideas

1. Just buy lots of G bodies and park them on your lawn to prevent the others from doing it

2.
Get one of those whacky waving arm dudes that the car lot on the wrong side of town has

Take photos of the cars next time they are there and create for sale adds saying one time only, one location limited availability next week.

Get some for sale signs and put them on the cars as soon as they park on Friday or Saturday night, post them for low but reasonable prices on CL or marketplace. Inflate wacky waving arm guy.

Put signs on cars, price them and have the whole community stop over Saturday morning.

Waving Family Guy GIF
 
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You could just start disassembling them or just remove fasteners.

 
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I love ruining other peoples' fun. This is a great problem to have. So many fun ways to handle it, the possibilities are literally endless.

Do you own a truck? If cars are parked in your yard (not the street on front of your yard) I'd hook a chain up and drag them out in the street.

Street is usually public domain, not much you can do about it. In your yard, that's another story.

Also, peeing in your yard? Call the police. Charges on that rack up quickly. Especially if a child witnessed it. Public intoxication, damage to property, public indecency, corruption of a minor, probably more.
Publicly exposed in front of a child? Say good bye! Public exposure itself should get expensive.
 
I have pieces of non-legal advice.

#1 - ask the town to declare the road no parking.

#2 - read up on your town/city/county ordinances. You know when you pull into some businesses and they have signs listing a local towing company, non patrons towed blah blah blah? There's signage requirements.

#3 - based on number two, call around to some local towing outfits and ask them if they would like the exclusive right to send a half dozen trucks once a week and make those tows. They provide the signs, youll post em.see what they say.

#4 - Checking with the police at the local barracks/station. Ask what you need to post in order for an officer to be able to respond to the property and do a 'police ordered tow'

#5 - split rail fence at property line so they can't pull into yard

#6 - no trespassing signs at curb, spike strips hidden in grass.

#7 - have the police issue trespass notices to the owners of the respective cars each time one is on the property. It appears a second time, invoke penalties under law.

#8 - combine some versions of the above with purchase of parking boots and install the boot on the vehicle, after confirming legality with police dept for use on private property.

#9 - You said the people are 'not cool'..... invest in somethings that go Pew Pew and discuss your local castle doctrine rules, or lack thereof. because depending on what option you go with, altercations are near certain.

#10 - file police complaints, have reports taken of license numbers and numbers of cars, and have officers list which address the party is at. Multiple times of night to show how late. Not your statement, but their own observations. Then sue to have the st address declared a nuisance, include noise ordinance violations, refuse in yards, etc.

#11 - if you're not on septic literally flood your front yard for days ahead of time. Let them sink in up to the floorboards.
The fence with a weedburner electric fence Charger and pee end up with a very satisfying scream😏🤣 just have signage for “electric pet fence “
 
And the possibilities beget possibilities. Your trespassers being able to park on your lawn as they apparently do says to me that your street does not have curbs; basically where the street ends is where the lawn begins. So, you being a good neighbour and all, and concerned about possible drainage issues on your property due to poor water management, rent a small backhoe like the one by Kioti or cat or ?? and decide to practice with it by digging a ditch along the frontage of your property. if it is inside the property line and there are no buried or hidden encroachments like gas lines or water/sewer services then you shouldn't even need a permit; you are just practicing after all, but it might be safer to check first, jic. Check with the neighbors, maybe they have water issues too and would be interested in sharing the rental fee so you can practice more.

And then you dig your ditch as close to the road as possible. Make it oh, 2-3 feet deep, no deeper and be sure to bevel the edges to make it look professional. Lay in a little grass to finish it off and Hey, Presto!! Anyone trying to park on the lawn ends up in the ditch. It's all on them for trying to put their vehicle somewhere it weren't supposed to be. They get to pay the cost of having it towed out; OR, followup with the suggestion above and once you have a few cars trapped, bring out the blow up wavy dude and the used cars for sale signs and if someone happens to protest, well they had to trespass the property just to fall into the ditch. And surprise, surprise, what license plates?? Confiscation laws in the county, maybe???

(I really have way too much time on my hands when I start to generate sh*t like this)



Nick
 
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