If your crossmember mounting set up is flexing I would fix that first and see if the vibration goes away.
As far as the trans mount I would say a rubber or poly mount should be fine for your car, the only reason I am running a solid trans mount in my car is that with the cage it is very rigid and everything mounted to my engine is bolted directly to the body and roll bars underneath so I don't want anything at all to move.
I am also not a fan of the no name balancer, did you verify that there was a weight on it before installing it, some weights are machined into the hub and others bolt in so you can use the balancer on an internally balanced engine.