Joke of the day

[pontiacgp]

In a club in Alabama a woman starts a conversation with a big guy wearing a cowboy hat. She asks him how come his is so tall and big and he responds with "I'm from Texas, everything in Texas is big". Near the end of the night the Texan asks the woman if she wants a ride home. She agrees and when they get to his big Caddy she says she has never been in a big car like that. The Texan says " the car ois from Texas, all the cars in Texas are big". They get to her place and she invites the Texan in, they have a few more drinks and she asks him to stay over. When he got undressed she said she never saw a guy so big, the Texan once again said, I'm from Texas, everything in Texas is big". They get into bed and when the Texan is on top of her he looks at her and asks "what part of Texas are you from?"....

 

[fleming442]

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wrapped in Saran wrap. The doc comes out and says "Clearly, I can see your nuts"

 

[Injectedcutty]

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wrapped in Saran wrap. The doc comes out and says "Clearly, I can see your nuts"

Look at ya, still a sense of humor (or humour from our northern friends) after taking the crew cab deer hunting! Hopefully somebody has a fender for ya.

 

[fleming442]

Look at ya, still a sense of humor (or humour from our northern friends) after taking the crew cab deer hunting! Hopefully somebody has a fender for ya.

if ya can't laugh about it, it'll drive ya crazy(er).

 

[Injectedcutty]

if ya can't laugh about it, it'll drive ya crazy(er).

Zactly!

 

[Gonzo1970]

Just before my surgery, the anesthesiologist said "we can do this the cheap way or the expensive way". I asked him to explain... He said he could use gas or a boat paddle.

It was an Ether/Oar Proposition.

-Gonz

 

[69hurstolds]

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was searching for Pooh.

 

[tc1959]

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar: Cheeseburger, $2.50; Chicken Sandwich, $3.50; Handjob, $10.
Checking his wallet for cash, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to a group of men.
“Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “May I help you?”
“I was wondering,” whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the handjobs?”
“Yes,” she purrs, “I am.”
The man replies, “Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”

 

[Jimmy]

A older gentleman walks up to a park bench where a small child is sitting eating chocolate candy bars one after another. The man sits next to the child and says son don't you know eating all that chocolate is bad for you. The little boy looks up at the man and replies, my grand father lived to be 97 years old. The man looked surprised and said from eating chocolate candy bars? The boy responded no minding his on damn business.

 

[oldsofb]

My wife said she was cold.


I told her to stand in the corner...............It's 90 degrees there.